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agony

job hunt is the root of all my agonies. i guess the job market really is rather bad especially for the banking sector. at least this was what i've been told. haiz. or maybe i wasn't trying hard enough. i'm depleting resources on a rather horrifying speed and i need to do something to rectify that. the GSS has also burnt quite a big hole on my pocket. although "free money" has arrived but it seems that i've pre-spent them. so ya there goes the cash. haha.

now and then i can't help but to think about the exam results. i know it's still quite a period away from the big release BUT i really can't help it. keep having the "what if" in me. what if i screwed up my IM or MA? what if i fail? what if i can't get the results i wanted? what if what if....

perhaps like what sandra said i worry too much. but i can't control these thoughts well. fear of failing, fear of disappointment, so much fear when i think of exam results. argh. that is why people get insonmia.