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agony

job hunt is the root of all my agonies. i guess the job market really is rather bad especially for the banking sector. at least this was what i've been told. haiz. or maybe i wasn't trying hard enough. i'm depleting resources on a rather horrifying speed and i need to do something to rectify that. the GSS has also burnt quite a big hole on my pocket. although "free money" has arrived but it seems that i've pre-spent them. so ya there goes the cash. haha.

now and then i can't help but to think about the exam results. i know it's still quite a period away from the big release BUT i really can't help it. keep having the "what if" in me. what if i screwed up my IM or MA? what if i fail? what if i can't get the results i wanted? what if what if....

perhaps like what sandra said i worry too much. but i can't control these thoughts well. fear of failing, fear of disappointment, so much fear when i think of exam results. argh. that is why people get insonmia.

wat else is left

i'm suppose to be in bed now but due to the shock this afternoon i'm not really able to shut my eyes n sleep. i'm tired but i couldn't make myself sleep.

trying to find some stuff to blog about however i think there's nth much 'cause my life is like a straight line now. BORING. argh. the sudden plunge from mugging 16 hours a day to doing nothing for the whole day is not a very pleasant feeling. that is why i need a job. haiz.

maybe i should get a partner. haha.

again

exams are over n i need to job hunt. vicious cycle yet again.

1 more to go

3 down 1 more to go. don't ask me how issit. i don't want to remember any of it until this exam officially ends.

so many things i wanted to do. shopping, massage, blah blah blah. it's just never ending. of coz i need a job too. i need the job to fund my new com, my "always want to go" trip, camera, n n n there's just too many things! oh my.

anwayz lin are prepared to take leave to go gai gai with me so i will shop until i forget wats my name. haha. n uob just sent me this booklet of vouchers inclusing a free 4-hr room voucher in partyworld. i'm like grining non-stop when i saw that. haha. i want to go! it's been months since i've stepped into one. haha.

so i'll study hard for the last paper. i believe the worst is over. i truly do. haha.

on the other side, heard some really bad news regarding a friend ytd which left me awake for almost the whole night (although some part of it is due to fi). i wasn't planning to blog this but it's just so...... i don't know how to describe the feeling but the news hasn't really settle on me yet. if i need so much time to accept this, how is she going to take it?

friend. be strong.