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festive mood?

i have no idea whether i'm stoning bcoz of the coming festive season or juz purely bcoz i can't wait to get out of ibm.. finished my work before lunch and i'm just starting to stone and ended up playing "Fish Tycoon" in the office.. this is bad, bcoz i'm here to work nt to play games.. but there's nth i could do now.. HOWEVER, tmr will be a busy day.. looking at the number of reports to be prepared and generated on my daily planner, i think i shld juz cherish my freedom today a little and stop complaining i've got nth to do..

was looking at my bank passbook and trying very hard to determine my allowance amount when i start studying in april.. and i've nv felt so poor in my life.. transport already cost around $100 and plus my handphone bills, contact lens+solution, meal expenses etc.. i juz feel that i shld rob a bank..

ppl asked me to do a part-time degree instead of a full-time.. my ans? No.. bcoz i hope to achieve the best when i'm studying nt struggling btwn work and studies.. i know of ppl who could do both well at the same time but nt me.. i will opt for holiday job but nt work&study.. i know it will be rather tough for my family especially i'm taking a private degree which will cost more than those from local uni.. and thats precisely why i wanted to well.. i'm nt those brainy and smart ppl who's born with high IQ but i do want good results so that my parents could feel proud of me..

since young, i'm nt a smart girl in school.. maths and english are like my horror when i'm in primary sch.. i was made to stay back most of the time to make it up for my maths and english.. i could not recall much of those days but i could vividly remember that the teachers aren't very kind.. finally i made it to sec school.. my maths was showing tremendous improvement for i've no idea wat reason.. but english still remains as my horror.. guess mom and dad was happy when they see my maths shot up to a above B3 grade.. my grades in sec sch are 4va dropping and improving.. juz like the SGX chart.. for 1 yr i could achieve mostly above B3 grades except for my english which is 4va in C6..haha.. and in another yr i could get a F9 for subjects that used to be in A1.. what a huge dif isn't it? at least i made it to poly with 15 points.. *phew* days in poly are my fav.. though i used to complain soooo much abt the time table and changing class every semester stuff.. been trying very hard in poly to achieve good grades but it juz doesn't seem to turn out the way i wanted..

after graduation forces me to think a lot.. what kind of job do i really want? am i serious abt futhering my studies? what do i really want in life.. until now i'm still searching for my answers....