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tired sunday...

can't write anything out now.. no matter wat i write it just doesn't seems right.. gave up..

i want to be a happy and blessed girl..

finally. the weekends are juz one step away.. am so glad coz i'm so going nuts soon.. this week isn't really a hectic one but the work sux.. well.. maybe after tue den it start to sux again.. taking over my collegue's work was actually something new though i'll get sick of it if i have to do calling everyday.. at least i don't have to stare at MS Excel for the whole day..

bought a Gundam seed destiny "Freedom" model.. hmm.. can't really believe i bought it but hey i'm done assembilng the parts and i got my complete Freedom! haha..

realise that i have mulitple bruises on my hands and legs.. guess it's all thanks to my lovely dog (or should i say horrible creature?) if u ppl are wondering how's the dog doing.. he's doing superbly fine.. of coz besides describing him as "lovely" he gain quite a few pounds (and i do mean a "FEW" pounds..) too..

mission statement till the end of 2005: "i want to be a happy girl" yeah. thats what i want.

i don't know...

had a busy day... coz i was informed that i'm suppose to take up 3 compulsory courses organised by the bank, at first thought it wouldn't be so bad coz it's e-learning but i was wrong.. i signed up for the first course "Anti-money Laundering" and the contents are sooooo dry and wordy.. laws and penalties are what i see on the screen.. after all the torture i've yet to finish the course.. -_-" besides "attending" the course, i've to take over my collegue's job as he got involved in a car accident and was given 2 days of MC.. therefore, spent half the day calling customers to report funds...

think i'm falling sick very soon.. the signs of flu are starting and i'm having headache now.. dreaded this kind of feeling coz i felt as if all my energy has being drained out...

realized i've lost something important.. it's always around me but i did not realise it's presence.. only managed to wake up when i've totally lost it.. but i'm still clinging on to it.. maybe i shld learn how to let go too...

new blogskin..

got a new blogskin.. finally i can get rid of the old one.. hope u ppl like it.. more updates later.. :P

boring nite...

got craving for fresh strawberries now... hmm... how i wish there's a box of strawberries infront of me..

soooo many things happened this week.. guess that's why my mood wasn't very good.. besides the dumb thing that happened, heard from someone in the office that my collegue's father is in the hospital and he was once in a very critical condition..

out of concern, i went over to her desk to see how she was.. then i know that her father had contracted cancer and is in the last stage.. her family already know about this a few months ago and were mentally prepared for the worst.. on tues, her father's condition worsen and the whole family were accompanying him in the hospital.. until now, her father is still in the hospital and waiting for the "day" to come.. to the family, it's such a torture for them mentally and physically..

i know how it feels, though my waiting time is shorter.. i see myself in my collegue sometimes.. getting scared when the phone rings for fear that it's bad news on the other line, wanting to spend more time with her dad but she does not know the deadline.. all i could say to her was spend every single minute she could with her father so that she will not be like me who have so much regrets..

really hope that she is really prepared for the worst so that she will not break down when it really happens.. it's nt really a good feeling as it just feels like the world is coming to an end..

am still craving for strawberries..

really need to stop myself from grieving..

it's fri...

work start off quite sucky bcoz of the sucky work i've to do.. got kinda irritated once again during lunch.. nv understood things.. nv know one can be so fake.. but things got better when my boss bought the team cornetto ice-cream... that kinda brightens the rest of my day.. at least i'm nt that grouchy about anything and everything that i sees... am easily satisfied i guess.. and for once i'm glad i get satisfied over one ice-cream coz emotions are really building up..

like wat i've worte in my previous entry, i've learned things.. i guess i really do..

rowdy me..

Because of You - Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

i've learned things... i'll never trust ppl too much anymore... it juz sux...

juz another entry...

was suppose to be out to get the order made cushion sets with my mom.. but the weather spoil the plan.. mom and the dog is sleeping away leaving me rotting infront of the computer..

couple more months to my dad's death anniversary.. missing him lots as time pass by.. guess there are things which couldn't be forgotten no matter what is the time span... 6 years have passed and things have changed.. but it has not being forgotten.. is it because i'm still holding on to it? i dunno.. the only thing i know is i do not wish to forget my dad's voice and most importantly, his face.. anywayz.. i do envy ppl who have a complete family no matter whether their parents are divorced or nt, coz at least they could still see them when they want to.. but i guess i'm too proud to show it..

i alwayz tell ppl who says "sorry" when they know my dad is no longer around that they don't have to feel any sympathy towards me.. coz i'm considered lucky as my dad is there for me for 14 years.. and i know i still have his love with me...

anywayz to all reading this entry.. treasure your parents, don't take them for granted.. they don't owe u anything in fact we are the one who owe them coz they give us lives..

pa pa.. miss u lots...

untitled...

gave up on looking for a new blogskin... somehow everything juz look so kiddish to me... anwayz.. can't be bothered anymore...

broke my heels in the office a few days back.. how unlucky can one gets? haiz.. wasn't even running in that heels and it juz gave up on me... how kind of it.. well.. obviously have to spend money on heels again.. yeah.. i did and i spent $34.90.. if it wasn't for the time limitation i will never have bought that pair of heels... *heart bleeds*

was suppose to watch "April Snow" on thurs but was postponed... wanted to do sooo many things but the thought of money it just gives way.... wanted to ktv, shopping for clothes, bags and shoes.. BUT all of it involves $$$.. maybe i shld try my luck on 4D tonite.. haha... crazy me.. guess i'm going nuts pretty soon....

strawberry shortcake!

saw something that really caught my eye today and i juz couldn't shake it off... went to Four Leaves bakery after work to buy bread for tea break but ended up looking at cakes.. well oh well.. the strawberry shortcake really got my attention....


Doesn't look that good on the website.. the straberries juz blow me away.. for those who do not know, i'm a strawberry freak.. haha... like so nice rite... you guys know what day is coming rite.. *hint* *hint* haahahaa.. crazy me... so fascinated over one cake.. but wat to do.. it's strawberry.. hehe..

kinda hate my work today and not very looking forward to work tmr... doing nth but timing transactions.. boring, dry, irritating job.. haiz.. hope tmr pass faster so i can escape from all those things...

stomach not feeling very good these few days.. can't really differentiate between hungry and pain.. sometimes feel like gastric pain but at the same time feel like pain... and i'm having headache now.. haiz.. wat is wrong with me?!?!?!

a day without rust..

feeling rather tired eversince ytd.. sun ask me why or what did i do.. i've no idea.. haaha... think it's bcoz i'm still recovering from the stupid cold i caught on sun.. i was thinking of the times in tp today when i was suppose to be working instead of daydreaming... hehe.. well.. my mind juz wandered off from MS Excel so nt my fault *bleh*

was juz thinking actually the times in tp were really really fun though inbetween there's some little bad times.. but i luv majority of the times.. missed the mugging period where i'll travel all the way to hougang juz to mugged bcoz the hougang-ers are so lazy to go anywhere else.. -_-" missed the times where i'm actually laughing at my team mate's english while editing reports (sorry to those i've made fun off.. =P) missed the times where a whole big group of ppl went for meals, coffee session, movies and blah blah times.. oh nt forgetting breathing 2nd smoke from the smokers at reservoir.. was thinking that i should have cherished the times more during the last semester of studying.. i was too demanding then or shld i say i was over demanding till ppl start to fear at the sight of me otherwise is hate me.. haaha.. if u ppl say no i will nt believe u coz i noe one human who acts like this..

anywayz.. still missed those days where i should have done certain things then but it's too late now.. well well... when i start sch next i guess i'll have to mugged alone during exam period.. how boring and lonely...