08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009 10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010 01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010 04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010 05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010 07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010 08/01/2010 - 09/01/2010 09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010 10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010 11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010 12/01/2010 - 01/01/2011 01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011 02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011 03/01/2011 - 04/01/2011 04/01/2011 - 05/01/2011 05/01/2011 - 06/01/2011 06/01/2011 - 07/01/2011 07/01/2011 - 08/01/2011 08/01/2011 - 09/01/2011 09/01/2011 - 10/01/2011 10/01/2011 - 11/01/2011 12/01/2011 - 01/01/2012 07/01/2012 - 08/01/2012 08/01/2012 - 09/01/2012 12/01/2012 - 01/01/2013

5 more days..

The last week is here, finally.. Phew!~! Haha.. waited for a very long time for this day to arrive. Made an effort to turn up at work today (suppose to work from home but in the end decided to go to work), manager and boss were quite surprise to see me there but I got some unfinish admin work so got to finish before I leave. Heard from Andy that Shahera (the new girl) cried yesterday because she's felt pressurize coping her studies and work at the same time. Feel sad for her and felt kinda guilty because she only has 2 weeks to learn everything and after that she has to live on her own in the office. Really hope to help her in whichever way I could and somehow to let her know that the admin work is really okay she just needs hands-on practise.

Nothing happening happened for the past few days except that I'm down with flu AGAIN yesterday, think my immune system is getting worst. Did nothing yesterday as when I'm down with flu no inspiration to do anything except resting. So today ended up witha red nose resulted from the rubbing and sneezing and had to apply lotion to ease the pain.

Did quite a lot of filling in the office today, finished only 3 files when the clock striked 7pm. Was so tired by then that decided to leave the rest for tomorrow, then really was rotting until 930pm. Haha.. it's really been a long time since I rot in the office. Saw Matthew and Grace too! Must remember to buy chocolates for them, somehow I just adore them because they are such darlings to me. Though they aren't the sweetest kids, they just have this angel in them that make me love them so much. If you are thinking whether I'm a pedophile, my answer is NO. I love kids just like how I adore my little cousins. They can make you feel at ease and even cheer you up when you're feeling down or at least let you forget your troubles for a while. I also know that it's not easy to bring up a child, especially when the child undergoes different stages in life. I can see those stages in the centre, I'm able to understand some of the kids' behaviour because I use to be like them too. Some parents push their child too hard while some just let the child does whatever the child wishes. I believe in reasoning with the kids, unless I've got no choice then I'll get nasty.

Got to see the moon today, gorgeous is the word. Always love to look at the moon since I was young, but somehow I feel that the moon is very lonely. Although there's stars around it, this is not companionship. The stars have each other but the moon doesn't. Heard this story about stars a long time ago: every star in the sky represents a sad story contibuted by a human being. The "happily everafter" evolved because the sky is kind enough to take in our sad stories in life and let us live peacefully. When one had a sad day, the sky calls for it and take it to a faraway place where people can only remember it as a star. So if you're sad or met with something that makes you feel bad, let the sky take it from you and continue to live happily everafter. =)

Hmm..

Somehow I miss slacking my day in one the cafes and drinking latte. Gosh! I really miss the coffee, I never knew that being able to waste my time away so called carefree is so precious. Was trying to play the song that I've took ages to search for but the file is gone, nowhere to be found. *Cries* Wanted to download it again but it's all broken link. Argh.. Maybe I'm not meant to hear that song, but really like the song. Why is this happening!!

Had a dream last night, perhaps it's not kinda amazing to you people but it is to me. Because it's been ages since I dreamt, can't really remember every details but I think I lost my handphone in my dream and something weird happened. Well, funny dream haha..

Need to report for work in about 8 hours time, confirm another boring day. Those who are very free maybe can drop by to visit me because it's really very quiet there.

Also, for those who know who is Cai Chun Jia, if you get to come across this song call "Kan Jian" can send moi? Hehe.. Merci!

1 more week to the end of SIP

Stressful week... Finally kinda relieved but still have to continue doing the system till next week, I don't know how because I'm just incompetent when it comes to php. Well, that's my life. One more week and I'm out of there, kind of miss the kids there and quite worried for some of the kids there because their results for CA2 aren't that good.

Today is the day my boss will be doing my performance appraisal and I'm at home. Damn.. Really eager to know how I score for the appraisal but at the same time I'm afraid to see the results. Reason being I've not completed the php system. Was suppose to give her the appraisal to do yesterday but she's busy with her work and kids, so what to do have to let her do today.

Yesterday went back to the office and had a shock in my life. Why? Because the office is in a mess, the calculators are gone, pens and papers everywhere, and the classroom look as if there's a earthquake. So spend about 2 hours cleaning up everything and finally when I sat down there's 1001 reply slips to be keyed into the computer. Really is key until I die but the bimbo called! Yeah, thanks girl and sorry to make you worry about me, think I scared you didn't I? Haha.. don't worry I'll be fine, I was just trying to find someone to talk to and at the same time give me advice. Well, your name just appear in my mind because you know what's happening in the office all this while.

She decided to come down to the office for a short while before she catches a movie with *cough* haha.. Glad that she came otherwise I'll be so bored in that small place. Weilin came down to East Point in the evening to meet her friend for dinner and was bored by then so decided to went down to look for her.

1 more week and I'm out! Cool, but hope the new girl is able to pick up the ropes by then otherwise I think they will be in big trouble.

Now I really know..

Deadline reaches and I have not completed the system and I'm still stuck in the middle of the ocean. I think now I know who's sincere in reaching out a helping hand when I needed help. I really do, and kinda disappointed.

Of course there's people who landed in the bad list. Someone I know for so long, someone whom I really thought I knew. The results are sad but at the same time I realise that there are people who really reach the extra mile to help or comfort me when I needed one. Thanks to those people and to those that disppoints me I'm really sad when you turns up on the bad list.

Had a talk with my boss and LO, though they don't blame me for not completing the system but I still feel bad. Reason being I've given out promises and I'm not able to fulfill it.

Another lesson to be learnt:
Never give out your trust blindly on someone who never returns the same amount of trust you have placed on them.

continuation..

Right now, I feel like the world will come crashing down anytime. I can feel nothing except stress, 1 more day and my final deadline is up. Really want to escape from everything, avoid is what I want to do. But no matter how I avoid this thing, I still have to face it.

Really on the verge of breaking down, it's worst than the ECAD project I can assure you. Because for ECAD there's people around to help, I'm fighting alone now. In fact, I'm scared. Feel so helpless and hopeless. *weeps*

bored..

Been resting since Saturday reason being the flu bug came back to seek refudge in me, so for the whole of my Sunday I did nothing besides resting and using tissues. Mom keep saying there's something wrong with me because I can get the flu bug just like that. What to do, I'm not the only one in the family who "loves" the flu bug so much, my bro is one of the lovers too. =)

Met up with the FYP group on Saturday after the on-campus session to discuss on the business proposal, not really in my right state of mind during the meeting because feel kinda tired and sleepy. So if I did not really contribute much for the meeting, sorry guys! Bought a bag also.. Hehe, finally got to go out and get something. But when my mom saw the bag she was like "bag again", haha.. Yes mother, bag again. Think besides earrings, I'm obsessed with bags. *grins*

Finally got the song that I've search high and low for, I think I'm kind of dino when it comes to Chinese songs. Though I do listen to current chinese pop music but older songs are good too!

*Puke*

Something really funny is happening to me. Had a really busy day at work and got so frustrated with this parent who stood at the centre for almost 45min just to get a place in the over-flowing english class, but I refused to squeeze her son in. One of the reason is she really irritates me too much. When it was time to knock off, I have to wait for this parent to pay for the course fees. Waited and waited finally she's here and I can close for the day. As usual bus number 9 took its own sweet time to come, but when I got on the bus I know something weird is happening to me. Motion sickness, yes for just a 15 min bus ride I can suffer from motion sickness. Maybe it's due to the absence of my lunch, ate nothing the whole day except for breakfast.

Saw a shooting star when I was walking home, quite happy because it's been quite a few yrs since I saw one. The last time is during the year where there's meteor rain, went to catch a glimse of it at Sentosa quite a memorable experience.

Then, I went to open the letter box before getting into the lift. Realise this little girl is standing next the lift staring at the notices, initially was quite stunt coz she just stood there and there's no adult around. But I just got into the lift and pressed 9. The lift went up smoothly when it reached level 9 the life doesn't stop and it went slllloooowwwlllllyyyy upwards. Was scared like there's no tomorrow already and my handphone was in my hand preparing to call my mom if the lift got stuck. Suddenly something struck my mind, "scully u also kena trap in the lift.." that's from Weihao when he told me that he nearly got caught in the lift and I was laughing at him. Finally the lift stops at level 13 and I chiong down the stairs too afraid to take the lift again.

Reached home safely and was yearning for dinner, but the moment I sat down after bathing to eat. Can't eat at all, because all appetite lost due to the after effects of motion sickness. So I just drank the soup and ate nothing, mom was quite worried because if I got motion sickness means I'll fall sick soon. Hope that this time is an exception.

I'm fucking stress...

Haiz.. Struggling with the php system now.. Less than half of the list completed, so discouraging especially when there is 1001 problems and 1001 barriers. I really need someone to cheer me up because feel so dishearten now. I think I'll have to burn numerous midnight oils to finish all those things and I have to constantly remind myself that I have not typed a single word for my SIP report. Haiz.. Realise that everything is so not fun during this period of time, been slacking too much though I don't feel I am.

Received a terror call last night, nearly fainted on the spot. It's a call from the witch, he was like doing survey on my family members and I was like "u tmr got school, go to sleep now! Bye.." But I think the in and out calls lasted for half an hour and finally I'm free from the he-witch.

I'm stuck with the sql statement today, YES for the whole day. Sad to say, can't find anyone to really help me. Though there's help along the way, but need some php freak to help me out but I can't find one. Haiz.. Maybe it's a mistake in the beginning to place me in that place where I have to deal with php. It's soooo not fun. *weeps*

Can't sleep well lately AGAIN, haiz.. My mind has all sorts of things circling everynight, guess what I did last night at 2am? I was planning to get to sleep, lying on the bed but my mind is full of php like how to code for the deletion of records blah blah blah. Haiz.. I got the idea but whether I can code it out is another thing. So was scribbling down the ideas till nearly to 3am, then woke up at 930am. Started to code AGAIN.. I want to finish this once and for all, can't stand this "thing" anymore. Argh~!

zombie...

Feel like a zombie now, damn shagged resulted from excessive php. Still, I only did 1 function more to go getting quite worried about the deadline. Pray that I will "Kai Qiao" for the remaining days, hehe. Another thing to worry is data uploading, damn tedious work but still quite glad because my company ain't those super big corporate so I think 2 days can clear everything.

The new girl will be coming in next week, looking forward to it because finally there's more life to that place. Eversince the bimbo left everything seems so quiet, some of you might say have me in the office very noisy already but HELLO I'll go crazy if only there's people to go crazy with me. Haha, so this proves how dull, boring and quiet that place is.

Tomorrow got to go work, finally going back to work after 3 days of camping at home? But I'll continue to camp till I finish that stupid system functions. I can't wait to go weilin's house and swim, miss the water and sun! I think the things I'm going to do after SIP is super a lot: complete SIP report, Ktv, swim, go queensway buy running shoes then train for NAFA, study for SAT. Damn, super a lot of things to be done. But I think the most important stuff to be done is to change my specs, will have headache after wearing specs for too long. Maybe I should opt for contact lenses because I really got problem reading bus numbers and road signs. Don't ask me to wear my specs when I go out, I'll take it off and misplace it that's what always happen at home. Though my house not that big but I still got problem remembering where I left my specs, haha..

85 again

Woke up at 930am but realise that my bro is working in the afternoon so went back to sleep as the computer is in his room and I had no access to it. Slept until 11am but my bro is still sleeping so decided to fill up my log book reflection and did some planning for this week. My target for this week is to complete the whole system by this week. I have to finish it so that I can start on my SIP report. Stress like hell.. = (

Finally, my bro woke up at about 1+pm and was thinking of upgrading my Text editor for php but realise the license has expired so continue to use the older version. Code like hell but still did not complete even 1 function, kind of disheartening but hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Went to 85 to meet Lydia, Kat, Shu & Billy; the lamers club. Yesh, the Shu language coming out like there's no tomorrow. The "Monlay" and "Boling" are corny enough to kill an elephant. Well, spent a few hours there talking crap and talking the yearn we have for KTV after SIP. I think when the few of us got together there's nothing serious coming out from our mouths, we are just getting too corny and lame. Haha..

Lantern festival coming, Yeah!! Actually, I wanted to go to Chinese Garden to watch those lovely lanterns but like a little too ex. Though I've went last year but that trip was paid for, this year can't find sponsors so too bad just get some milo tin or milk can and make one. Haha, if you don't kno wwhat I mean ask your parents on how they made their lanterns when they were young. Quite interesting because not only they can play lanterns but they were recycling at the same time.

Maroon 5 - She will be loved..

Bored like there's no tomorrow!!! Literally rotting the whole day at home, cannot make it! But at least I'm not working, hehe. I think I need to do something about my sitting posture especially when I have to sit for long hours at work, my back aches soo much that I can't sit up straight. That's bad isn't it?

Met up with Kat, Shu and Jiale at 85 yesterday, Jiale looks like one roasted chicken, haha! So sad, sun burned that's to teach him a lesson that he should use sunblock, at least the burn won't be that bad. The whole night the 4 of us were repeating "Si beh sian ah!!!" think we got nothing better to do and the 4 of us r not attached like the rest so Kat concluded that we got no life. I think otherwise, I got a life but I just don't know how to deal with it properly. Some people are soo busy that they could make full use of the 24 hours and complain that it is not enough, while others just idle around like me! =>

Happy 22nd birthday to my bro!!! Actually I've forgotten that today is his bdae, I din mean to it just slip off my mind. Well, anyway he's out celebrating with his friends so I think it doesn't matter. Don't know why, all my cousins are able to relate to their bro/sis but not me and my bro. We are just not that close, I'm actually closer to my cousins rather than my own elder bro. Well, sad case because it's been like this since we were young. From snatching of toys to quarrelling to arguing to ignoring each other, I think my mom has already gotten use to it. BUT, at least we don't quarrel like before, we just don't communicate that much. We know when to stop the conversation so it won't become an arguing session. I think that's good because we don't bicker anymore or at least that much, hehe..

At work..

Boring day at work, nothing exciting happen. The only exciting part is I'm still bug by the flu virus. Haiz.. Still sneezing and coughing away, sometimes when I tried talking there's no sound coming out from my mouth. Interesting right, losing my voice soon. Took 1001 panadols for cold relief, still I don't feel better. My mom was like asking me why I keep getting the flu bug and I was like "Hello, how I know right?" Then, she asked me to go to the doctor but I didn't go because I don't want medication that causes drowsiness. Hate to take that kind of medicine because I'll ended up feeling more and more tired. I think i have to drag this virus with me for a few more days.

So hungry now, yearning for food but when I think of what to eat I don't know because there's nothing to eat in Simei! Faint... Maybe i should go buy the $1 chocolate milk tea.

Oh yah, nearly forgotten, happy birthday to Mr SK Tan! Hehe, my boss bought a cake for him to help him celebrate. But I reached the office when he finished blowing the candles, hehe..

Off day..

Today went to SGX Building with my mom, when I saw the building I was like "Woah! So cool.." Really, the building is super grand and there's 1001 plasma TV hanging on the wall. Wanted to bring 1 of them home and hang it on my own wall, but a little mission impossible because there's also 1001 security guards there.

The flu bug is almost gone but still feel a bit "floating in the air", well at least it's not like yesterday I was literally floating when I stand up. The flu bug going but my throat hurts, haiz.. sneeze too much yesterday now is cough too much. Wanted to see a doctor but don't really have the time to do so, sad life. Hope all viruses stay away from I can't afford the time to get sick, not free ah!

Give me back whatever suppose to be mine..

Somehow I feel lost.. Don't ask me the Why qns, I just feel that I have messed up my life during my SIP period. So many things undone, so many things not even started. Suddenly feel so disappointed in myself, this is so unlike me. Maybe that's my change during this period. People around me either got attached or separated, I was telling my friends they won't see much changes in me but I have seen it myself. My priorities in life are declining and came trumbling down. I don't know what does this mean, maybe I'm just lost for this spilt second and I'm well the next. Trying to teach myself how to pick up things like before again, feel like a juvenile. When I stop and look around, I feel that things are different, so different and fear start to arise within me. Just feel that I'm not as happy as before, someone seem to have came to me and take away my happiness.

Feel that the pace here is too fast and competitive, I can feel that I'm suffocating sometimes. Tried to break free of everything but ended up getting hurt. Well, that's when I was still young and ignorant. Now I don't have the courage to do so because there's commitment towards my own life and most importantly my family. Think someone asked me before whether I will consider migrating my answer is I would like to but I won't do it because I have my strings attached here. Maybe I should find a map that could bring me out of this maze once and for all, also to stop me from being lost again. :)

My day..

*Yawnz* Just got back from my grandma's house, yesterday something dramatic happened so I've decided to go there and take a look. Well, everything still as usual and saw my twin cousins. Soooo cute, crawling all over the place and look sooooo alike I don't even know who is who. Din blog for quite some days so here's a little summary:

3rd Sept 2004
Went to work and saw my boss already there, but I'm not late so don't worry. Then, my darling ex-collegue called and chatted on the phone infront of my boss. Haha, cool rite? Arranged to meet her and my boss for dinner on friday, quite cool 3 women bitching about unknown subjects. Hehe... Then, I took the chance to talk to my boss about the problems I had in that small office, of course it includes my dealine. After that, the day just went by until Benjamin came in. And guess what he did after his class? He snatched my keys and locked me in the office, so duhz rite? Anyway, not really bothered by that because he forgot there's something call "back door". Haha.. And just like the previous week , we took the same bus home. -_-"

4th Sept 2004
The man is late for work today, don't really bothers me but re-ensure moi that he's irresponsible. So I was like whatever and do my work, then he came in and I gave him the face. Yes, the face I gave to him on wed but not that serious look. Later in the day he offered to talk to moi about the problems I had because he realise I'm quite unhappy for the week. SLOW! So yeah we talked, but kind of getting on my nerves coz he seems to keep saying the same thing he had said before. I was soooo glad when it ended because I can't talk to him for long, I'll go crazy. Went in for the Elementary English class again, because have to accompany this boy call Wei Zhou. Promised that if he comes for the class on Tue and Sat have to buy him coca-cola. Think I really have to remember that. :)

Sept holidays starting tomorrow, think will be quite busy because there's quite a number of additional lessons at the centre. Hope I can finish everything in 2 weeks' time. Hope the best for me, ok? Hehe...

Happy Bdae to Biily!

Note: Happy Bdae to Billy Tan!!! :)

Well, now is just a continuation of my blogging for the lousy day. Feel much better now, sorry to make my friends worry about me. I'm still the strong-headed girl u ppl know so I guess I'll get over this unhappy experience. Also, don't worry I'll fight for my rights in the company and continue to live in that company.

Went to meet Shu and Lydia after work, actually don't really feel like going because besides being tired, quite pissed off also. In the end still went to meet them. Quite miss Shu's lameness, as usual lame but getting more n more powerful and cannot make it. Talk quite a lot and like every other day I'm the 2nd hand smoker. Haha..

I remember my dad telling me that be nice to people and people will be nice to you, but somehow it's not happening in my office or at least to that particular person. Haiz.. Give up on everything, I don't want to think anymore.

haiz..

I'm sick of complaining every time, I guess my friends are sick of my complains too. But this man really irritates me (think of u ppl know who I'm referring to). He throws his work to me and expects me to do it, but I refuse to do it at the risks of him complaining to my boss and affect my SIP grade. I'm not his labour; I'm just here to face the computer! I feel disgusted, for his behaviour; his attitude; his working style; his self-discipline. My mom always ask me to be easy with people because I tend to push people across another line, but when I'm here I don't know what the hell went wrong. Maybe I'm being too nice here, I don't know. In here everyone is crossing over my head.

Yesterday had a meeting with my FYP group, talk a lot and crap a lot. Get to know more on Mindy's company project, though I have a lot of questions on this project I feel that this project has quite a gd prospect but the problem is whether the proposal would be approved. While waiting for 168 to get home, this horror sms message came in: SC, tomorrow, pls go to work at 11am because mr Loke's class star at 1230pm. Pls sweep the floor before the class I���ll come at 7pm to take over you. Irritating, it's like near to 12am den give me this kind of nonsense.

So today I took about 1.5hrs to vacuum the whole centre then cleaned the front counter, after that did the poster. Then parents keep flooding in to make payment and students came in to take mock exams. Argh, all this nonsense and I did not touch the system AT ALL. Haiz.. help can't stand it anymore. I think I'll go crazy any minute now. Now I'm soo dead after the cleaning, entertaining, and serving. How how how? deadline is this Sunday. *weeps*